Is it just me, or are both men and women putting more and more pictures on their online dating profiles, as either couples, or multiple girl pictures? It is beginning to seem that way to me, at least! I don’t think it is really in the best interest of the girls to post pictures of themselves with their girlfriends, especially if they are pretty, or have pictures of themselves with past (or present boyfriends). I know that I myself have skipped over these profiles without hesitation as I feel that this girl will have some baggage that I don’t want to have to deal with!
Also, guys are visual creatures, and at the first sight of a girl and guy picture, they are turned off. It’s a shame though! But it happens. I wonder if it is the same for women. When a woman browses through profiles looking for a guy, and sees one with his past (or present) girlfriend, does she react the same. Is it a bit of a turn-off? I really feel that the pictures used in the online dating profile should be one with only YOU in it, maybe with a nice background. But definitely not a group shot. After all, you are to a big degree selling yourself. So, sell yourself as an individual, and not as a group.
One problem with profile based dating sites is that a unique, interesting person is trying to explain ‘who they are’ in one short page, that gets briefly skimmed by other daters. With so many choices, superficial things like picture composition can make or break the deal. Its a shame that ultimately an impression of a person can be reduced to something so arbitrary.
We do things different at FlowMingle ( http://flowmingle.com ). We group people into group of around 20 and then guide them through an introduction process that explores many aspects of a persons life. People have an opportunity to communicate with their group about many different topics and really get a feel for who the other people are. We encourage people to add lots of Portraits of themselves in various situations, so that other people can get fuller view of them.
We feel that its not so much that there is no one good on the other sites, just that the medium (profiles) used to communicate is inadequate.
Yeah, it’s the same way for women. When we see a photo of a guy with a girl it’s no good. Who knows who she could be. It might be a coworker or a cousin, for all we know, but it could be the one he can’t let go of. It’s not conducive to attracting other women, that’s for sure.
What I wrote in a (humorous) profile once that was a list of points for online dating. This was number one:
Do not post a picture that includes your friend that is hotter than you. This will only make us want to date them instead; or better yet let us meet them before we come to that conclusion. Also, please do not include a picture of yourself with some random guy. He may be just a friend to you, but he’s competition to me. I dislike him already.
The group and `with a friend`shots are suited to Facebook but if you want to be looked at as being single…you should `look`single.
Exactly, Ben B. , the problem with online dating is that you can only explain who you are and what do you do in your life is very brief unlike on personal dating.
Chris,