Have you ever been caught up in a situation where jealousy, that green eyed monster rears its ugly head? Most people unfortunately have experienced this at some time in their lives. And no one relishes being in such a position, or as the recipient. Jealousy is not necessarily a female concept. It rears its head to males also. It crosses both genders, but I think that women have a higher susceptibility towards it, as they are more emotionally driven than men.

Sayings like, I’m jealous of her, she’s jealous of him, are all too common terms.
They are feelings and expressed emotions … very strong feelings and emotions!
Jealousy is a complex reaction to a certain set of emotional thoughts and behaviors which manifest themselves outwardly, hence the term green eyed monster or green with envy.

How can jealousy affect a relationship? It can influence a couple in a positive way if it is just mild jealousy. It can influence you to do better, to act as a form of competition. In this instance, if both the couple are competitive by nature, mild jealousy can be a good thing. It can, however, destroy that relationship. When the jealousy becomes too strong, it becomes a ticking time bomb, eventually exploding into shards of angry jaded shrapnel. Jealousy can and does bring out the worst in people. The solution therefore is open COMMUNICATION before it gets totally out of hand. Communication is required from BOTH sides with lots of understanding and patience, as the feelings can be quite intense. Remember, it takes two to tango!

Does anyone else have trouble remembering important dates? Not necessarily the dates of holidays, but those that take place within relationships. Personally, I have trouble with both! It’s not that I try NOT to remember, I simply don’t always remember! And I always pay for it in the end.

Take the time I forgot my girlfriends birthday! All hell broke loose on that momentous day! And I guess, rightfully so! I just forgot. I’ve also been known to forget which day is Valentine’s Day! And you can imagine the massacre that resulted from that! Lol

I’ve tried calendars, my computer, and various electronic planners, but somehow, I still forget. Now I’m beginning to see a pattern emerging. But then again, I have been known to come to work on Thanksgiving, and forget my own birthday! Awful as that sounds, it happens to be true.

Do all women like to “kept” ?
Some may say yes, some may retort, Absolutely NOT!
But how do guys perceive of this notion? Most guys are not amenable to “open relationships”. We want our women to be monogamous, although from time to time we stray from that path. So we like the concept of the kept woman. It’s probably of our way of feeling, in control.

We see it in marriage. She is MY wife! She will be with NO other man than ME! To make her happy, we will lavish her with gifts, money and whatever it takes to keep her. Women like to be kept. It provides them with the security they want, both emotionally and financially, although it seems nowadays, that they pretty much have their own means of employment, and are many times, on par, with the men in that department. They thrive on the emotional content of the relationship, knowing that their guy will get them whatever they wish, within reason. So, it becomes clear that this is a good, working relationship.

So, now my question is, what is the difference between a wife and a hooker? Other than the obvious, the hooker goes away after the deed is done, and you’re stuck with your wife!

Yes, the title is from Kenny Rogers song, The Gambler, yet it seems quite apropos when ascertaining whether or not a relationship is viable. Remember, relationships are a major gamble.

Know when to holdem
Know when to foldem
Know when to walk away
Know when to run!

A perfect lyric when in a relationship! It gives four possible scenarios. Know when to holdem – when everything is going just right (I love you), Know when to foldem – when you get in to a biased discussion (yes, Dear, whatever!), Know when to walk away – when you are in an argument you can’t possibly win (I need some air!), Know when to run – when you realize you will never win (any argument, ever!)

I would like to believe that, in a normal, healthy relationship, that both partners would go outside of themselves, forego their personal safety net. It is called love, a simple 4 letter word to which countless literature has been written, spanning eternity!

It is that feeling one gets in a relationship when the happiness or serenity for the other, outweighs the feeling of that individual, without regret, without remorse. It comes from the heart. And it feels good too.

While it is not always an easy process for some people to do, it is very necessary for the survival and endurance of the relationship. It is a cornerstone, a building block, a foundation, which can not be learned. It has to come straight from the heart, not from the head or its value is lost and meaningless!

I guess that depends on the individual. Many women think so. Part of that biological clock syndrome, I suppose. I believe it is less of a priority for men than for women. I know it is for me!

When I’m in a relationship, regardless of how it is progressing, I feel a underlying need for my freedom. The truth be told, the longer I am in a relationship, even when it is with a girl I really like, I feel a need to be single again. At first I suspected it was just wanderlust, but now I’m not totally sure. I hate feeling like I’m the kind of guy that just wants a girlfriend for some company and sex, but it seems like that is exactly what happens!

In the past, I’ve had a few live-in girlfriends. I ended up hating doing that, and will not do that again! It felt like a combination of marriage and jail sentence, all in one. My freedom can’t be taken away from me, and really is not, except for the perception in my mind, which is probably why I am happiest when single but dating. Hell, isn’t it better to make many girls unhappy instead of just one? And variety IS the spice of life !

Is self sabotage in a relationship a conscious or unconscious decision? I truly wonder, as many friends I have spoken to, both male and female, and including myself seem to feel that. Could it simply be that there is something about the person or nature of the relationship that we don’t like, and so we do everything possible to destroy it? Or, does the desire to terminate a relationship, reside totally in ones subconscious, and it is the outward reactions or manifestations that reach the conscious level?

Have you ever broken up with someone out of the blue for apparently no reason you can think of on a conscious level? I know that I have. But, it is not until later, upon going over the circumstances, that I realize it was my inner gut feelings (subconsciously) telling me something was wrong.

Then there are those people who, for reasons known only to them, or may be not, will purposely ruin a healthy, viable relationship. May be they get scared, or cold feet. Maybe they feel inadequate, or not worthy of the relationship they are in, or not worthy of a relationship period!

Now, to fully put my foot in my mouth, I will boldly make the statement that relationship self sabotage is predominantly a female occurrence! I made this statement only after asking the women in my office, their opinions.

It is said, that if you fall off a horse, get right back on it, or you become fearful of the horse. I guess the same logic goes for dating.
I’m soon going to become girlfriend(less). Except that this time, there will be no anger, no hurt, no weeks of sorrow. It is but a parting of ways between two mature people. To those readers out there who haven’t read my previous post, I blogged about getting case of wanderlust, and forgetting to sign out, upon which my girlfriend read the article.

Since this is not technically a major breakup, as there was no hostilities involved, there is no recuperation time needed. At least not for me! I was the one contemplating singledom. So know I pose this question to myself, get right back on the horse and start the dating process again, or enjoy my freedom, for at least a month!

I have never had trouble meeting girls, as I have been lucky with the gift of gab, and a pretty good physique. My problem is that I grow bored and tired seeing the same person once it becomes a relationship. A failing on my part? Or a need for variety? After all, it is the spice of life!

As quickly as it became known to my friends that I was approaching being single…again, the first thing said from girl friends, was awww, so sorry to hear that, followed by get some new threads and git back in the saddle. Why do I need more clothes? It doesn’t state who I am, nor does it make me a better man! Hell, I already have spent over $3000 in clothes which were purchased in 2008 alone, most of which I purchased through the pestering of my now ex girl, and of which 80% I still have not worn yet! I’m not a woman, I have no need for the latest fashions, or what’s trendy, at the moment, nor do I relate to retail therapy. I really couldn’t care less. Give me a couple of suits for work, a few pair of slacks, some shirts, and my sneakers, and I’m a happy camper. I certainly do not need more to make me feel better. I feel fine!

I’m not going to be judged by a female or anybody for my dress attire! I don’t believe that clothes make the man, but the other way around, a man makes the clothes! Take me as I am, or I won’t last long. Although I am chivalrous, I refuse to be some damsel’s knight in shining Armani !

A few articles ago (see Out with the Old, In with the New), I eluded to the fact that I was possibly looking to break up with my present girlfriend. Well, I made the ultimate blog faux pas… I didn’t sign out. So guess what, she viewed the article! YIKES, the cat is out of the bag. Now my gf isn’t one to mince words with me, nor to hide that fact. Upon my return from work, I knew something was wrong. Since I was caught 100% off guard, and had no time for “preparation”, I asked her what was wrong. She confessed to going to my computer and snooping around, and while snooping, saw the article and read it, along with every article I have posted. What can I say! I totally screwed up! It’s the Pandora Effect. Tell a girl not to look, and guaranteed, given the opportunity, will !

Now in that particular article, I felt like it was about time to make a break. She deserves more, and I’m getting wanderlust again. I don’t want to get or be married, and she has been talking too much lately about our future.

So, now it was out in the open. I actually didn’t have to say much, as it was all written in that article she read. When she asked if I meant it, I had but a micro second to think, but told her what I wrote was exactly how I felt. In an obvious act of cowardice, I muttered, but it was “at that moment”. She took it quite well, hurt, but she understood. She wants a future, possibly kids, a solid relationship, and she does deserve that. I am gun shy, and do not see, or want to see marriage in my near future. I like having a gf, but not a fulltime wife. I need my escape clause! And I guess I found it ! lol