I am curious as to who dates on the rebound more, guys or gals. While the initial breakup and following week(s) hurts both equally, who is quicker to start dating sooner? I know that I, after about a week, sans girlfriend, gets a little voice in my head saying, get off your ass and start looking! Truth be known, it is just a thought, but in a weird way, a comforting one. It provides a glimmer of hope, a dim light at the end of the proverbial tunnel, a possible future. But, in all honesty, I just can’t get back on the horse right after a breakup. It usually takes me a month or two just to be the flirty guy I am! What I’m saying is that I don’t date on the rebound, it’s not in my nature to do so. This is probably because I am always selective in whom I make a girlfriend.

This being said, because I have/(had) feelings for the girl, it takes time to heal the emotional wounds that were inflicted. But many people are the type who can get right back on the horse after being thrown. They are rebound daters. Unfortunately, it is the people that they meet soon after a break up, that get hurt or used. They are on the ass end of the horse, and you know what comes out that end! Lol

Those on the other side want love, caring, a possible relationship. But they are also a whipping post in those relations. They have to listen to the others reasons and justifications for breakup, along with all the hostilities that they become burdened with.

Breakups are rough on both sides, if they had any meaning. In time the wounds heal enough that people are on the mend. Once this occurs, “normal” dating can resume.

In our never ending quest to be happy, many men spend a great deal of time and effort searching for their ideal woman. Knowing what type of female we are attracted to is not all that difficult but knowing where to find such a person can be very frustrating indeed. What it all boils down to is being in the right place at the right time, and knowing what to do and how to act accordingly! Basically timing and action.

The first place that comes to mind in an attempt to find a dream girl would be the dance clubs and bars. Going out to a night club can be lots of fun especially if you are a good dancer, but it can also be intimidating if you are shy and do not like crowds. And potentially embarrassing if you don’t know how to dance.

Bars are another option but if you’re not much of a drinker, you probably won’t have a very good time and do you really think you will find your dream girl in a bar? A girl, yea, but your dream girl? .. probably not! The bar scene though is a good place to explore, but it is more ideally suited for younger people, those guys and gals who are in their 20’s who are first learning about the art of dating, and for men who are going through the “conquer” stage. A few glasses of vodka and everyone is ideal! Till the next day! lol

The beach can be a great place to meet women if you are not bashful about approaching a total stranger half naked. Even if you are unable to connect with an attractive female, at least you can work on your tan while enjoying the outdoors. Of course, being half naked and having an overhanging beer belly is not condusive to picking up a pretty girl.

Supermarkets can be another way of meeting someone but a guy can look very foolish hanging out in front of the produce section with a big smile on his face hoping for the right woman to walk by. However, this option can work if you are a divorced male with a totally bewildered look on his face, and gets the sympathy and compassion of a similarly divorced female. Kind of like a pity pickup! Lol

Going to parties or some kind of social gathering can be a great way to meet people if you have the good fortune of being invited to such an event. Parties can be lots of fun and you never know who you might run into it. But in these situations you must be bold, show confidence, be assertive. Or, look for the wallflowers and just strike up a conversation. It works!! The main thought to keep in mind is that your ideal female is out there but she isn’t coming to you. You have to make the effort to find her.

How many of you out there get along with your ex? That many, huh! Well, I happen to be one who does. Friends of mine ask me all the time how I do it, or better yet, how I deal with it! It is actually quite simple. I learned that you can not change a persons behavior. Only they can make the change. If it is a behavior that annoys me to great extent, I sever the relationship of boyfriend/girlfriend. As the title of this post says, “An ex is an ex because”.

There are a myriad of reasons to break up in a relationship. Some make perfect sense, others come from the heat of the moment. Some say I don’t burn bridges. This is very true of me. What’s the point of fighting over something that has already happened and caused the breakup? That part is over and done with. It’s a small world, and I’ve chance encountered many ex girlfriends. However, in all honesty, I have never re-dated a past girlfriend. The things that she or I did to each other to cause the breakup would still be present, and would only cause another round(s) of drama. Life goes on!

After digging around the garage for awhile, I found the boxes labeled Christmas Stuff. I brought to her the balls, plastic red/white candy canes, garland, etc. I also found that the miles of Christmas lights looked like a tangled birds nest. I guess I know what I’ll be doing for the next few hours! Ugh. The heck with that, throw them out and buy new ones! Yeah, that’s the way to do it! An hour later, I was back at the house with many new strings of lights, red ones, white ones, blinking ones! Next step, grab the ladder and get it up to the roof. My house is a one story ranch, but I don’t like being on the roof edge. Anyways, I start looping the lights around the edging of the roof, put the icicles below them (it is so funny, icicles and we’re in Florida), and proceed to get my sore ass down to terra firma.

I have a couple of hundred feet of lighting left over, and so I decide to illuminate a 50 foot coconut palm that is in our front yard. Pretty good idea except I have a 20 foot ladder. So now we have a big palm tree with 20 feet of lights, and an empty top. I could try one of those Survivor man/Bear Grylls techniques I’ve seen on TV using my shoe laces tied, but at 56 years old…I think NOT ! I come back into the house, quite sore and achy. Girlfriend is wearing her red and white Christmas hat. She has decked out the tree which I must say looks great, and all by herself. What’s better is she just opened a bottle of Baileys Irish of which we intend to polish off. She also gives me a terrific massage, which is much appreciated. I think I’ll keep her for a while! Lol

As much as I enjoy this holiday, I’m glad it is only once a year, my back couldn’t handle it! Time for libation. Ciao.

We got the tree into the house, still tied up with cord and began the ordeal of cutting the tree trunk to match the base we had. What a mess! Lol. What started off as an almost 9 foot tree was slowly being whittled down. By the time it fit into the base, it was a whopping 7 footer! But it looked nice in a corner of the living room. We then cut the cord binding it, but forgot to move it away from the corner. So, in an instant, the boughs spread out, hitting the wall, then toppling over. In its path to the ground, it hit the coffee table knocking over a dish with a million brown M&M’s in it.

Our carpet is also brown and they almost perfectly blended into it. It was just too funny for words. And that was good because at first I felt like saying a few “choice” words!!! So after a ten minute vacuuming, thus making the living room smell like a chocolate factory, we were done with the initial tree setup. Later we would dig out the lighting from the garage, yards and yards of lighting. I have to remember to check my fire insurance policy and Florida Power and Light! This year brought me a new gf, and so, it was decided that she decorate the tree, while I would decorate the house. So it was written, so shall it be! Yes, sometimes I am the boss of my house, not always, but sometimes.

Is it just me, or are both men and women putting more and more pictures on their online dating profiles, as either couples, or multiple girl pictures? It is beginning to seem that way to me, at least! I don’t think it is really in the best interest of the girls to post pictures of themselves with their girlfriends, especially if they are pretty, or have pictures of themselves with past (or present boyfriends). I know that I myself have skipped over these profiles without hesitation as I feel that this girl will have some baggage that I don’t want to have to deal with!

Also, guys are visual creatures, and at the first sight of a girl and guy picture, they are turned off. It’s a shame though! But it happens. I wonder if it is the same for women. When a woman browses through profiles looking for a guy, and sees one with his past (or present) girlfriend, does she react the same. Is it a bit of a turn-off? I really feel that the pictures used in the online dating profile should be one with only YOU in it, maybe with a nice background. But definitely not a group shot. After all, you are to a big degree selling yourself. So, sell yourself as an individual, and not as a group.

The average Joe sees that gorgeous hot body. His mind races, his heartbeat rapidly increases, palms get sweaty. You try feverously to come up with a good opening to a possible dialog. You look at her again, a real goood look. Your eyes follow every curve of her symmetry, mentally noting what you find so desirable in her. You know what I mean! She’s Malibu Barbie in the flesh! Then, a state of panic anxiety rears its ugly head. Your mind is totally consumed by the thought that she is a Goddess, and what self respecting Goddess would go out with me, a kinda Joe the Plumber…the average Joe!

I’m not worthy…I’m not worthy, courses through your head. Here you are, slowly fermenting in extreme anxiety and feeling self pity, and defeat, and you make a quick exit to somewhere else. So here’s the clincher! There are many average guys. There are also many real pretty women out there who are NOT getting any dates because no average guys have the balls to ask them for fear of rejection. Barbie ends up with Ken, who is handsome and very shallow. Come on, all of you average SOB’s, give a goddess a shot!! You might be pleasantly surprised.
Tagged: average joe, Barbie, dating, friends, love, men, pretty women, relationships, Romance ]]> http://chanceencounters.wordpress.com/2008/11/08/average-joe-and-malibu-barbie/feed/ 0 chanceencounters man http://chanceencounters.wordpress.com/2008/11/07/the-21yo-intern-and-the-56yo-boss/ http://chanceencounters.wordpress.com/2008/11/07/the-21yo-intern-and-the-56yo-boss/#comments Fri, 07 Nov 2008 03:53:52 +0000 chanceencounters http://chanceencounters.wordpress.com/?p=409 ]]>

I hired an intern to work with me about 3 months ago. After interviewing for 2 weeks, I made my decision as to who would be the best candidate. I chose Erica, a 21 year old who, besides being “qualified”, was also quite a hard body. OK, the lech in me came out! Hey, I’m going to be 56, and a red blooded American male. And the fact that I’m probably older than her father, made it a safe bet that nothing would happen. I play boss, she plays intern, and that’s how it would be! And that’s how it was…for the first 3 weeks. She asked if there was casual dress Fridays. I told her yes, as long as it wasn’t shorts and sneakers. On Friday of her 3rd week, she came in with a overly low cut dress and heels. Not really appropriate dress for the office, but there was work to do, so I paid it no mind.

The next week I noticed her getting bodily closer and closer. At first, I thought it was my imagination. It was not until later in the week that I pulled rank and in my office blurted out to her, “Erica, I’m older than your father”. Her answer was that she liked secure, older “father figures”, and found me quite attractive. I was truly complimented by that statement but was not interested.
I’m going to start interviewing for a new intern next week. My new choice will be 60 or older, gray hair in a bun, and looks only her husband can love!
Tagged: dating, friends, love, men, Romance, women ]]> http://chanceencounters.wordpress.com/2008/11/07/the-21yo-intern-and-the-56yo-boss/feed/ 2 chanceencounters secretary http://chanceencounters.wordpress.com/2008/11/06/recession-and-dating/ http://chanceencounters.wordpress.com/2008/11/06/recession-and-dating/#comments Thu, 06 Nov 2008 00:17:31 +0000 chanceencounters http://chanceencounters.wordpress.com/?p=403 ]]>

Is recession killing off the amount of dating people are doing these days. It doesn’t matter if you make a hefty living or just ekes by. It’s all relative. The richer guy, by proxy of that fact, can go out on more dates one would think. True, but he goes to better restaurants, you know, those fancy places where everything is priced a la carte, where a glass of wine starts at $20/glass, where you walk out a couple of hundred poorer. Then go out to perhaps see a show, and the price of a pair of good tickets, and your date sets you back around $500 for the evening. But you make the bucks, and like to go out dating, so you do it, and bitch about it later. The person who ekes out a living also takes his date to the restaurant. His choice will be “all u can eat” buffet, he takes his date to the movies. He dates within his means. Bottom line is both date, and will continue to even with money being hard to come by! Recession will ONLY limit the frequency of dating. So to all you rich and not so rich daters out there, make every date count…Choose, but choose wisely !

Why do so many people join dating sites and just want to be old fashioned pen pals. You know who I mean .. the serial emailed. The guy or girl who will establish contact, and bombard you with countless 1 sentence emails not even worthy of a text message on a cell phone. The ones who will never ask you to go out on a real date, but hide behind their monitors glare! This is not what the majority of online daters have joined for. We joined because we want to meet our “better halves” so to speak. These message junkies just waste our time, our potential dating time. Why can’t they just hang out in a chat room if that’s all they want to do?
Remember to all you mailers out there, and you know who I mean, a dating site is where cyberspace MEETS reality.