I am curious as to who dates on the rebound more, guys or gals. While the initial breakup and following week(s) hurts both equally, who is quicker to start dating sooner? I know that I, after about a week, sans girlfriend, gets a little voice in my head saying, get off your ass and start looking! Truth be known, it is just a thought, but in a weird way, a comforting one. It provides a glimmer of hope, a dim light at the end of the proverbial tunnel, a possible future. But, in all honesty, I just can’t get back on the horse right after a breakup. It usually takes me a month or two just to be the flirty guy I am! What I’m saying is that I don’t date on the rebound, it’s not in my nature to do so. This is probably because I am always selective in whom I make a girlfriend.

This being said, because I have/(had) feelings for the girl, it takes time to heal the emotional wounds that were inflicted. But many people are the type who can get right back on the horse after being thrown. They are rebound daters. Unfortunately, it is the people that they meet soon after a break up, that get hurt or used. They are on the ass end of the horse, and you know what comes out that end! Lol

Those on the other side want love, caring, a possible relationship. But they are also a whipping post in those relations. They have to listen to the others reasons and justifications for breakup, along with all the hostilities that they become burdened with.

Breakups are rough on both sides, if they had any meaning. In time the wounds heal enough that people are on the mend. Once this occurs, “normal” dating can resume.

In our never ending quest to be happy, many men spend a great deal of time and effort searching for their ideal woman. Knowing what type of female we are attracted to is not all that difficult but knowing where to find such a person can be very frustrating indeed. What it all boils down to is being in the right place at the right time, and knowing what to do and how to act accordingly! Basically timing and action.

The first place that comes to mind in an attempt to find a dream girl would be the dance clubs and bars. Going out to a night club can be lots of fun especially if you are a good dancer, but it can also be intimidating if you are shy and do not like crowds. And potentially embarrassing if you don’t know how to dance.

Bars are another option but if you’re not much of a drinker, you probably won’t have a very good time and do you really think you will find your dream girl in a bar? A girl, yea, but your dream girl? .. probably not! The bar scene though is a good place to explore, but it is more ideally suited for younger people, those guys and gals who are in their 20’s who are first learning about the art of dating, and for men who are going through the “conquer” stage. A few glasses of vodka and everyone is ideal! Till the next day! lol

The beach can be a great place to meet women if you are not bashful about approaching a total stranger half naked. Even if you are unable to connect with an attractive female, at least you can work on your tan while enjoying the outdoors. Of course, being half naked and having an overhanging beer belly is not condusive to picking up a pretty girl.

Supermarkets can be another way of meeting someone but a guy can look very foolish hanging out in front of the produce section with a big smile on his face hoping for the right woman to walk by. However, this option can work if you are a divorced male with a totally bewildered look on his face, and gets the sympathy and compassion of a similarly divorced female. Kind of like a pity pickup! Lol

Going to parties or some kind of social gathering can be a great way to meet people if you have the good fortune of being invited to such an event. Parties can be lots of fun and you never know who you might run into it. But in these situations you must be bold, show confidence, be assertive. Or, look for the wallflowers and just strike up a conversation. It works!! The main thought to keep in mind is that your ideal female is out there but she isn’t coming to you. You have to make the effort to find her.

After digging around the garage for awhile, I found the boxes labeled Christmas Stuff. I brought to her the balls, plastic red/white candy canes, garland, etc. I also found that the miles of Christmas lights looked like a tangled birds nest. I guess I know what I’ll be doing for the next few hours! Ugh. The heck with that, throw them out and buy new ones! Yeah, that’s the way to do it! An hour later, I was back at the house with many new strings of lights, red ones, white ones, blinking ones! Next step, grab the ladder and get it up to the roof. My house is a one story ranch, but I don’t like being on the roof edge. Anyways, I start looping the lights around the edging of the roof, put the icicles below them (it is so funny, icicles and we’re in Florida), and proceed to get my sore ass down to terra firma.

I have a couple of hundred feet of lighting left over, and so I decide to illuminate a 50 foot coconut palm that is in our front yard. Pretty good idea except I have a 20 foot ladder. So now we have a big palm tree with 20 feet of lights, and an empty top. I could try one of those Survivor man/Bear Grylls techniques I’ve seen on TV using my shoe laces tied, but at 56 years old…I think NOT ! I come back into the house, quite sore and achy. Girlfriend is wearing her red and white Christmas hat. She has decked out the tree which I must say looks great, and all by herself. What’s better is she just opened a bottle of Baileys Irish of which we intend to polish off. She also gives me a terrific massage, which is much appreciated. I think I’ll keep her for a while! Lol

As much as I enjoy this holiday, I’m glad it is only once a year, my back couldn’t handle it! Time for libation. Ciao.

While in a relationship, aren’t there times when you just wish to hear NOTHING! Just some peace and quiet is all you desire. Desire it may be, but ever try to get that in a relationship? Pretty near impossible! With me, the chances of that happening are less than slim to none. My girlfriend is a yacker, a motor mouth. Her vocal cords get utilized the moment she wakes up until she goes to sleep! It’s not like I don’t want her to speak, duh!, but there are times that I am talked out, and just want my world to be on mute for a while! But she doesn’t understand that…except when it is she that wants it quiet and serene!
So my solution to this is quite simple:

Silence is golden
Duct tape is silver!

It is said that an excellent way for a woman to please her guy is through a good, home cooked meal. I happen to agree with that statement! I’m attracted to her for her looks, her mind, and her culinary expertise in the kitchen. I mean that sincerely. I happen to be an excellent chef in my own rights. And so, having a girlfriend who is quite adept in epicurial delights, makes for a happy ME! It’s also kind of fun with both of us making something to eat together, a team effort so to speak. Along with a bit of competition and food fights! Lol For me, this is a very important part of the relationship. It’s not that I eat a heck of a lot, but I do like to eat good homemade food! So, a way to this mans heart is through his stomach. If she can’t cook worth a damn, the way to HER heart is through her ribcage. hehehe

To wrap it up, we have to change our own behavior, not our partners.

It is OUR responsibility to make the change in order to be comfortable with the other. It is up to us to accept that behavior, not change the other person to suit OUR needs and wishes!

The Song Remains the Same

I said I would never date a corporate female again. And I haven’t! But I did have the opportunity this past weekend, to go out with one. Not a date, but not quite a business meeting either. I called her up to confirm the time I planned on picking her up. She blurted back that she would take her own vehicle. OK, nothing wrong with that, but I got that “corporate cold” feeling. It wasn’t a date, more like an after hour business meeting, kinda thing! I got to the restaurant, expecting her to be waiting outside for me, and that we go in together.

Nope, after waiting for what seemed like an eternity (maybe 10 minutes), I called her on the cell, to find out she was already seated inside. OK, nothing really wrong with that! It wasn’t until I sat down and made myself comfortable that she said she ordered drinks and appetizers. I was a bit annoyed with her. Who the F is she to order my drinks, and appetizers without telling me. And how the F does she know what I drink or eat. The waitress comes to the table bearing drinks, a Cosmo for the lady, Ketel One with soda for the gentleman. Would you like to order your meal now or wait until after appetizers, the waitress asked.? I ask my dinner date what she ordered for appetizers. Spinach dip, fried calamari, mussels. My jaw dropped. How did she find this out? Those were my favorite appetizers! I’m feeling like she has done a epicurial background check on me! I felt uneasy having someone order for me and not even asking. I asked her, a bit confrontational, how does she know my likes or maybe dislikes. She replied, I asked your secretary, who informed me of your profile on an online dating site.

That whole corporate female lousy feeling was building up in me. I felt manipulated by her. Actually, she said that any Corporate Professional would do the same! It made good business sense, she coldly remarked. Not to me, it didn’t. Her overdoing it was the straw that broke the camel’s back! So then, what am I going to have for dinner I asked her, and what will my decision be regarding doing business with your firm. She turned red. She had lost any chance of doing business with me. I told her my feelings! I ordered dinner myself, thank you very much, and we spoke on a purely business level afterwards. She was too aggressive, too pushy, too corporate. So I let her firm pay for dinner, and let her open the door for me! Lol

Is recession killing off the amount of dating people are doing these days. It doesn’t matter if you make a hefty living or just ekes by. It’s all relative. The richer guy, by proxy of that fact, can go out on more dates one would think. True, but he goes to better restaurants, you know, those fancy places where everything is priced a la carte, where a glass of wine starts at $20/glass, where you walk out a couple of hundred poorer. Then go out to perhaps see a show, and the price of a pair of good tickets, and your date sets you back around $500 for the evening. But you make the bucks, and like to go out dating, so you do it, and bitch about it later. The person who ekes out a living also takes his date to the restaurant. His choice will be “all u can eat” buffet, he takes his date to the movies. He dates within his means. Bottom line is both date, and will continue to even with money being hard to come by! Recession will ONLY limit the frequency of dating. So to all you rich and not so rich daters out there, make every date count…Choose, but choose wisely !

Why do so many people join dating sites and just want to be old fashioned pen pals. You know who I mean .. the serial emailed. The guy or girl who will establish contact, and bombard you with countless 1 sentence emails not even worthy of a text message on a cell phone. The ones who will never ask you to go out on a real date, but hide behind their monitors glare! This is not what the majority of online daters have joined for. We joined because we want to meet our “better halves” so to speak. These message junkies just waste our time, our potential dating time. Why can’t they just hang out in a chat room if that’s all they want to do?
Remember to all you mailers out there, and you know who I mean, a dating site is where cyberspace MEETS reality.