Archive for September, 2008

What is it with you ladies in regards to shopping, clothes, and shoes? We all shop, need clothes, and wear shoes. But women seem to carry it on with almost obsessive behavior. You never hear of a guy being called a shopoholic, do you? A guy has his wardrobe, some slacks, shirts, a suit or two, 2 pairs of shoes, and his favorite sneakers. He is happy in his ensemble. But take a woman. She is a shopper by birth.
She is genetically predisposed to it. She has the ability to find the most expensive shoes at the store, blindfolded! It is a 6th sense which serves her well. But 30-40 pairs of shoes? It has to be that X chromosome, or competition with Emelda Marcos ! You ask them why so many, there answer is quite simple. I need them to match my clothes. Logical? I guess! But all it takes is one extra accessory, and now the shoes don’t look right, so I’ll buy another pair! A vicious cycle, don’t you think! However, on a positive note, wasn’t it Cinderella who proved that a good pair of shoes can change your life! I’ll end it there!





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Gotta love this notion. It’s been around for ages. But is it really true? Does the moon rising in Capricorn really dictate the right person for you? Apparently many think so. I was born in late March making me an Aries. According to the Zodiac, Gemini’s and Leo’s would be harmonious while Cancer’s and Capricorn’s would not, and Libra’s would be my opposite! Well, I’ve gone out with Gemini’s and there was no love connection! So much for astral feelings! Although, I did have a long term relationship with a Libra, my opposite. 
So maybe there is truth to the statement that opposites attract. And now, here’s the clincher. NASA has declassified the planet Pluto! Does that mean we now have only 8 planets in which to decide our romantic fate? Are more to go? What will this do to our horoscope? And don’t say, ascending up Uranus! Lol I’m not a believer, but in the dating arena, whatever works !


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You’ve survived your 20’s, filled with conquests and prizes, completed your 30’s with the notions of true love and soul mate, had your midlife crisis in your early 40’s , and guess what, now you’re a born again virgin. You have the mindset of the aforementioned ages, with a body, if not well preserved from exercise or alcohol, of a midlifer. Women get cellulite, their breasts sag, and their waistline increases. Men get potbellied and start to lose their hair, and know the correct dosage of VIAGRA !


“So I’m losing my hair, but I’m getting more head”

There are some advantages to dating in your 40’s. The older man wants to have the younger girl. He doesn’t know what to do with her, but he wants her. A primal urge, an unfulfilled fantasy. Funny thing is, it seems nowadays, that younger women prefer older men. Maybe they see security in an older gent, could be older guys don’t play the “games” of youth, perhaps it is that they are now established and know their place in the world, or just have more available cash! You have the “experience” factor. Been there..done that! Seen it all.

If it’s true that knowledge is power, you can wield that power to your advantage. In other words, you can get away with murder. Murder as an adjective, not a verb! And if you do something deemed too silly or adolescent, you can always blame it on premature dementia. The thing is you are never too old to date, and never too old to love. Remember, us older people need love too.


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Dating And The Holidays

I fully admit to panic over new girlfriends and the Holidays!  When I was in my early 40’s, I met this beautiful girl just before Christmas. We just started dating in mid December, and already I was beset with the anxiety of Christmas, and meeting her parents for Christmas dinner, then would come New Years Eve, and afterwards Valentines Day. One holiday after another! Combined they make up what I call the Trilogy of Terror! Bad timing, I guess, but who knows when “love” will happen.
We had only gone out on two dates before she said, “I want you to meet my parents”. It felt like a knife in my gut. I remained calm, drew what I thought was my last breath, and in a voice drenched with nervousness, subtly said, ok. Oh God, what have I done? I’m going to meet the parents of a girl I don’t really know. What do I say, what do I do, what gifts or offerings do I present to them? What if they don’t like me, what if they do? I need a tranquilizer, NOW !!!
Suck it up, you wimp, that inner voice told me. Be a man, not a mouse..squeak, squeak! Only those who have been in this situation, could possibly appreciate how I felt. So, on Christmas Eve, armed with a bottle of white and a bottle of red, we arrived at her parents house. Ever feel that hollowness in your stomach when you are going through anticipatory anxiety? I had a severe case of it. Thank goodness it only lasts until the door was opened, and wanes upon entering and thrusting forward. I was greeted by her parents, and made to feel like one of the family. PHEW ! Her dad was great, we really bonded, but mom soon nailed me to the proverbial Cross. “So, what do you do for a living, do you have any money saved? You know my daughter is 41 and never married! Check please !

New Years Eve went great. There was no interference to run, it was just her and I. And we could get as silly as we wanted to. It was NYE. February 14th, Valentines Day became known as the Valentines Day Massacre. So I forgot which day it was! So, sue me! No, don’t do that! Yup, I forgot the day, I forgot the flowers, the card. I didn’t have any excuse that would have been plausible to her. She was pissed, PERIOD, end of statement. If it wasn’t that I was watching some news report on the boob tube (the next day), I still wouldn’t have remembered. I called her that night to make amends to no avail. She was one of those girls who, once hurt, put on blinders and ran with tunnel vision. I, myself, never looked back. What I did learn was never meet the parents until you’ve dated the daughter for months, and never, never, never, forget Valentines Day!


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So you’ve come to the end of that first date. It went fantastic you think. In your mind you go through the signs that she is attracted to you. She laughed, she talked, witty banter flew across the dinner table. You said the right things. You “passed” the test! You know she is attracted to you, hell, she remembered your name and didn’t throw any food at you! Now that’s love! Well, everyone has there own opinion on when the time is right, and they would all be correct. 
I’ve found that at the end of that first date, you know if you and she are winners in the love connection. I’m kinda old fashioned. I wait until we are at her door before the first smooch. It works out nicely that way. If she doesn’t like you, and turns her cheek, atleast it comes at the end of the date. But if she does, one kiss can lead to many, and if you’re real lucky, an invite into the house! hehehe


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Having The Gift Of The Gab

So how many times have you seen that perfect 10 and got tongue-tied? Where you freeze up or there is a short circuit from your brain to your vocal chords. It’s happened to all of us at one time or another, I suppose. Blessed are those who know how to mingle with strangers. I wasn’t so blessed. It took a lot of effort. It wasn’t until I entered the corporate world with much responsibility that I overcame it. It was a Baptism by Fire. Eventually, I realized all people are strangers, at first. Some stranger than others! Hahaha 

You can’t read how to be a social butterfly without experiencing it yourself. There is no Social Butterfly for Dummies manual. But there are methods for social interaction that work. First of all, don’t get yourself labeled as a wallflower. You know what I mean. Labels are easy to come by, but really difficult to remove. Be optimistic but be yourself. You can try surrounding yourself with friends or with people you would like to be like. It makes conversation that much easier.

 I learned over time how to be the icebreaker, that initial maker of conversation. I also learned to “target: those shy ones. It usually turned out they were the most talkative once you got them to open up. And remember, compliments go far, ego’s don’t! But use the right compliment. Saying “You look pretty” will go further than “Hey baby, you’re hot!” Finally, if you want respect, you have to give respect It’s simple verbal communication with a good sense of humor that can open doors.


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I don’t think I am. But I do question my myself. First , let me define love as I perceive it, not the Merriam-Webster unabridged version of the word, nor that of dictionary.com! I think we all have our own private, inner definition of the word. I love lobster but I wouldn’t want to date one!
There are many forms of love, which changes as one gets older. I’ve found that mature, emotional love is an evolutionary process which begins in youth as a strong infatuation. It is strong, but lacks the emotional substance that only maturity can provide. So where do you look for love? This question is answered on an individual basis and there is no right or wrong.
What I’m looking for is not necessarily what you are looking for. When I was in my early 20’s, bars were the place. Unfortunately, for me, those places provided a female element that, although fine at the time, would not work out for me anymore. I partied as hard as anyone at that age, but usually ended up with phone number without a name or face, or woke up the next day, saying I can’t believe I was interested. Or even worse, I’ld meet her at another date, and find out we had nothing in common, once the alcoholic haze was gone.As I matured, my choice of meeting places also matured. I’m not a dancer, so going to a dance club would not be a good choice.
I am creative, so museums are a good place. I’m artistic, so galleries work for me. In other words, one is more likely to make a connection going to places in which he or she has interest. That way, your chances of meeting that new person has a common link. From there it can develop into something greater. In essence, go to places you like and are comfortable in. Then, if you are lucky enough to meet someone, you have a similar interest, which leads to conversation, which leads to ……..


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