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Archive for October, 2008

Pack Mentality

We’ve all seen it or experienced it. The pack mentality, especially among girls. Have you ever been in a public place, say a restaurant or bar, and spot a really nice girl. A girl you would love to meet. You smile, she smiles back. You get up and start to approach her. All of a sudden she is surrounded by her girlfriends. Some smile at your approach, some snarl. All in all, there is a bit of that pack mentality at play. You try to speak to HER, but instead of speaking to one, you are speaking to an audience. An audience who does not know you, but knows her and is protective of her. Bottom line…you are being judged. You are on trial and what you say in your behalf, will be analyzed and scrutinized at the moment, and later. They are the jury. Plead your case well.

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The day started out ok. My girlfriend finally accepted my invitation to go deep sea fishing. I’ve been inviting her for quite awhile but she always had some excuse. While it didn’t always prevent me from going, it would have been nice to go together. I’ve endured art galleries, plays, poetry readings, and dare I say it, opera. I wanted her to try something I liked, at least once! We were going out of Islamorada, FL on a ½ day charter boat. Everything was set,except for the weather. It was blowing 20mph plus out of the East and the seas grew to 4 to 6 foot (nasty by all accounts).

We were trolling for dolphin, and catching small 3-5 pound fish. About 15 miles offshore, the engine quit on us. It was a single engine gas burner, and the Captain and mate tried to get it started without luck. The Coast Guard and Sea Tow were notified, and we awaited their arrival. Well, a pitching sea in a boat without power was too much for her stomach. She barfed, she puked, she hurled, she wretched. Now I have a strong stomach, but I can’t be too close to someone seasick or I’ll wind up puking myself. I tried to comfort her, but she turned on me! All of a sudden, it was MY FAULT! As if I ordered the gods to roughen the sea and to cause the engine to quit.

I tried to comfort her, but she was mad at me for taking her out fishing. To make matters worse, it took about 2 hours to be found and over 2 hours to get towed back to dock. Back at dockside, she wasn’t relieved at all. She (in her various shades of green pallor) spewed forth her venomous attack on me for taking her fishing. This lasted the whole ride home (except for a brief intermission where she fell asleep). Back at the house, her final comment was, “I hate you, I wanna break up”. Ok, that makes breakup number 7, and that’s just with her alone! I’ll never take a girl fishing again !!

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The Princess

The princess is the girl who, dare I say it, acts like a lame to get the sympathy (and funds) from a guy. “Treat me like the princess that I am”. This is a recurring theme I see in many online dating sites. You may be your daddy’s princess, but you have to prove it me. Too many women have this “spoil me” character trait. They want to be lavished in gifts, the best of everything, and there is nothing wrong with that if it is reciprocal. They whine when their wishes are not met, and sulk until they are. These “princesses” are a novelty..for awhile, but most guys grow tired of that behavior, and move on. She is left sulking until she finds her next “prince” to bestow royalty to her. Unfortunately, it is because of this trait that the princess rarely gains the status of Queen!

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She Stole My Clothes

Any guy that has been in a relationship for a few months has had this happen to him probably due to his own fault. Any that have been in one for longer have probably lost a good portion of his wardrobe to his better half! In recent relationships, the guy usually gives his girl a jacket or sweater if she’s cold. Or a pair of socks, With longer term relationships, the girl gets bold enough to take your socks, your boxers, your tee shirts, sweatshirts, and button down shirts, and even pants if they can fit in them.

We guys see it as fairly harmless, kinda cute, except that we usually don’t have a wardrobe as expansive as that of the galz. Just a few items “taken” could reduce our clothes supply by half. When we make a comment, we are later rewarded by our girl buying us a pair of socks (in weird colors) or boxers (in weird colors) or sweatshirts (with weird writings on them). They know they will get to wear them, and so the cycle has continuum!

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Failure to Launch

It happens! Many times I have eyeballed a girl that caught my attention only to have “failure to launch”! I’m bold and confident enough to see what I like and pursue to its end. I’m soon gonna be 56 and have had my share of failures. A funny “failure” happened to me about 10 years ago. I was living in New York at the time. I, like everyone else would take the train to Manhattan and would see this pretty blonde get on at the next station.

She always seemed to take a seat opposite where I sat. I would pretend to be reading one of the multitude of advertisements above her, she would see me do this. I would smile, and she would smile back. I then said hi, and began a conversation. She responded and this became a regular thing. I thought we might make a connection, so I asked her where she lived. She smiled at me, looked me straight in the eyes, and said, “With my husband”! Danger, abort, failure to launch!

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Face it, with online dating, you have a paragraph at best text profile, and one or more photos to catch someone’s fancy. So doesn’t it make a lot of sense to put your best foot forward, or in this instance, your best pix forward. A lot of guyz and galz make serious errors when posting their pix. The biggest mistake for the guys is putting a pic of themselves unshaven, unkempt, in stupid pose. Since you don’t get a second chance to make a first impression, why screw it up? Increase the likelihood of interesting someone, don’t blow it from the start!

Let’s say you can post 3 pictures of yourself on the site. As a primary pic (the one that will be seen first), be nicely dressed, casual, and not taken through your bathroom mirror on your cellphone camera. Have a friend take a good pic of you with a decent camera, or a decent pic with a good camera! Lol For your other 2 pics, maybe at someplace you have been to recently. It is important that the photos are recent ones. Not 5-10 year old shots.

You might get more lookers, but unless you look exactly the same now as you did then, you’ll be “busted” as soon as you meet! For women, the same basic rules apply. Have a nice, CURRENT, photo as your primary pic. Try NOT to be use photos with your girlfriends in it (especially if any are as pretty as you), and never post a pic of you with a guy on your arm. Guyz are visual creatures, will jump to conclusions in an instant, make an immediate assumption, and go to a different profile!

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Everyone desires the finer things in life, right? There’s not a thing wrong with that. But why does it seem that an increasingly large number of females believe that they deserve it? Desire, wish for, even crave to have the finer things is normal and acceptable but deserve?
Many times I’ve gone on dating sites and seen a phrase that really pisses me off. It is “I want only the finer things in life and want to be treated like the princess I am“! Hey, I like the finer things too and I have them, but you know what, I worked for them! They were not just given to me, I earned them so they mean something to me. It’s when these finer things are just handed out to you that they lose their meaning. Then you are just damn spoiled!

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