Posts Tagged ‘breakup’

silly season

Well, it’s starting to affect me again. The end of October and next month, Thanksgiving. The start of the silly season, a period of time in which emotions can run rampant with highs and lows until after Valentines Day. I’m feeling the blues! No girlfriend right now to share in the festivities of the upcoming holidays.

I don’t mind not having Thanksgiving dinner (as I dislike turkey!), but then comes Christmas, and that will put me in to a tailspin. I love to give gifts to a girlfriend, and this year will not have the opportunity I feel. Of course, I have been a very good boy, so may be Santa will give me one? If he does, he better not look for a chimney.. I live in Florida! LOL.

Next, comes the two holidays that are the worst when not in a relationship. Spending New Years Eve without female companionship basically sucks, and in February, there is Valentines Day to contend with! Yes indeed, the 2009-2010 Silly Season, will not be a happy one for this author. However, I will have almost a year to make restitution!


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Is self sabotage in a relationship a conscious or unconscious decision? I truly wonder, as many friends I have spoken to, both male and female, and including myself seem to feel that. Could it simply be that there is something about the person or nature of the relationship that we don’t like, and so we do everything possible to destroy it? Or, does the desire to terminate a relationship, reside totally in ones subconscious, and it is the outward reactions or manifestations that reach the conscious level?

Have you ever broken up with someone out of the blue for apparently no reason you can think of on a conscious level? I know that I have. But, it is not until later, upon going over the circumstances, that I realize it was my inner gut feelings (subconsciously) telling me something was wrong.

Then there are those people who, for reasons known only to them, or may be not, will purposely ruin a healthy, viable relationship. May be they get scared, or cold feet. Maybe they feel inadequate, or not worthy of the relationship they are in, or not worthy of a relationship period!

Now, to fully put my foot in my mouth, I will boldly make the statement that relationship self sabotage is predominantly a female occurrence! I made this statement only after asking the women in my office, their opinions.

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Self Fulfilling Prophecy

A few articles ago (see Out with the Old, In with the New), I eluded to the fact that I was possibly looking to break up with my present girlfriend. Well, I made the ultimate blog faux pas… I didn’t sign out. So guess what, she viewed the article! YIKES, the cat is out of the bag. Now my gf isn’t one to mince words with me, nor to hide that fact. Upon my return from work, I knew something was wrong. Since I was caught 100% off guard, and had no time for “preparation”, I asked her what was wrong. She confessed to going to my computer and snooping around, and while snooping, saw the article and read it, along with every article I have posted. What can I say! I totally screwed up! It’s the Pandora Effect. Tell a girl not to look, and guaranteed, given the opportunity, will !

Now in that particular article, I felt like it was about time to make a break. She deserves more, and I’m getting wanderlust again. I don’t want to get or be married, and she has been talking too much lately about our future.

So, now it was out in the open. I actually didn’t have to say much, as it was all written in that article she read. When she asked if I meant it, I had but a micro second to think, but told her what I wrote was exactly how I felt. In an obvious act of cowardice, I muttered, but it was “at that moment”. She took it quite well, hurt, but she understood. She wants a future, possibly kids, a solid relationship, and she does deserve that. I am gun shy, and do not see, or want to see marriage in my near future. I like having a gf, but not a fulltime wife. I need my escape clause! And I guess I found it ! lol

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Well, 2008 is coming to an end and we’ll be ushering in a new year.
As a confirmed bachelor with either wanderlust (or A.D.D.), may be it is time for a new girlfriend. Don’t get me wrong, my current one is pretty damn good, but she has started making those little annoying remarks about our future, the hinting of what could be, in other words, potential marriage. She knew from the start I really don’t want to get or be married. It doesn’t mean I’m against it. I’m just saying it isn’t something I think about or want. It is also not that I intend to cheat on my girlfriend, it isn’t in my nature to do so, but that wanderlust feeling is gnawing away at me.

I have to come up with a really good reason why I should break up with her, if there is one. I won’t purposely pick a fight with her, just to end our relationship. May be the best way is to let her know that I am not marriage material. I am successful at work, have a house and toys, am financially secure, but I don’t like feeling caged. I won’t do or say anything to her until after Valentines Day. That just brought to mind The St. Valentines Day Massacre! YIKES! I guess it will depend on how I feel at that time.

I don’t want to hurt her, or string her on, but I have no intentions of marrying her or anyone else for that matter.
Hey, I’m only 56 years old, too young to settle down, too old to want to have kids! lol
Then again, why make only one woman miserable, when I can make many miserable!

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