Posts Tagged ‘Commitment’


Have you ever been caught up in a situation where jealousy, that green eyed monster rears its ugly head? Most people unfortunately have experienced this at some time in their lives. And no one relishes being in such a position, or as the recipient. Jealousy is not necessarily a female concept. It rears its head to males also. It crosses both genders, but I think that women have a higher susceptibility towards it, as they are more emotionally driven than men.

Sayings like, I’m jealous of her, she’s jealous of him, are all too common terms.
They are feelings and expressed emotions … very strong feelings and emotions!
Jealousy is a complex reaction to a certain set of emotional thoughts and behaviors which manifest themselves outwardly, hence the term green eyed monster or green with envy.

How can jealousy affect a relationship? It can influence a couple in a positive way if it is just mild jealousy. It can influence you to do better, to act as a form of competition. In this instance, if both the couple are competitive by nature, mild jealousy can be a good thing. It can, however, destroy that relationship. When the jealousy becomes too strong, it becomes a ticking time bomb, eventually exploding into shards of angry jaded shrapnel. Jealousy can and does bring out the worst in people. The solution therefore is open COMMUNICATION before it gets totally out of hand. Communication is required from BOTH sides with lots of understanding and patience, as the feelings can be quite intense. Remember, it takes two to tango!


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Does anyone else have trouble remembering important dates? Not necessarily the dates of holidays, but those that take place within relationships. Personally, I have trouble with both! It’s not that I try NOT to remember, I simply don’t always remember! And I always pay for it in the end.

Take the time I forgot my girlfriends birthday! All hell broke loose on that momentous day! And I guess, rightfully so! I just forgot. I’ve also been known to forget which day is Valentine’s Day! And you can imagine the massacre that resulted from that! Lol

I’ve tried calendars, my computer, and various electronic planners, but somehow, I still forget. Now I’m beginning to see a pattern emerging. But then again, I have been known to come to work on Thanksgiving, and forget my own birthday! Awful as that sounds, it happens to be true.

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Do all women like to “kept” ?
Some may say yes, some may retort, Absolutely NOT!
But how do guys perceive of this notion? Most guys are not amenable to “open relationships”. We want our women to be monogamous, although from time to time we stray from that path. So we like the concept of the kept woman. It’s probably of our way of feeling, in control.

We see it in marriage. She is MY wife! She will be with NO other man than ME! To make her happy, we will lavish her with gifts, money and whatever it takes to keep her. Women like to be kept. It provides them with the security they want, both emotionally and financially, although it seems nowadays, that they pretty much have their own means of employment, and are many times, on par, with the men in that department. They thrive on the emotional content of the relationship, knowing that their guy will get them whatever they wish, within reason. So, it becomes clear that this is a good, working relationship.

So, now my question is, what is the difference between a wife and a hooker? Other than the obvious, the hooker goes away after the deed is done, and you’re stuck with your wife!

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Yes, the title is from Kenny Rogers song, The Gambler, yet it seems quite apropos when ascertaining whether or not a relationship is viable. Remember, relationships are a major gamble.

Know when to holdem
Know when to foldem
Know when to walk away
Know when to run!

A perfect lyric when in a relationship! It gives four possible scenarios. Know when to holdem – when everything is going just right (I love you), Know when to foldem – when you get in to a biased discussion (yes, Dear, whatever!), Know when to walk away – when you are in an argument you can’t possibly win (I need some air!), Know when to run – when you realize you will never win (any argument, ever!)

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I would like to believe that, in a normal, healthy relationship, that both partners would go outside of themselves, forego their personal safety net. It is called love, a simple 4 letter word to which countless literature has been written, spanning eternity!

It is that feeling one gets in a relationship when the happiness or serenity for the other, outweighs the feeling of that individual, without regret, without remorse. It comes from the heart. And it feels good too.

While it is not always an easy process for some people to do, it is very necessary for the survival and endurance of the relationship. It is a cornerstone, a building block, a foundation, which can not be learned. It has to come straight from the heart, not from the head or its value is lost and meaningless!

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Is Being Single So Bad?


I guess that depends on the individual. Many women think so. Part of that biological clock syndrome, I suppose. I believe it is less of a priority for men than for women. I know it is for me!

When I’m in a relationship, regardless of how it is progressing, I feel a underlying need for my freedom. The truth be told, the longer I am in a relationship, even when it is with a girl I really like, I feel a need to be single again. At first I suspected it was just wanderlust, but now I’m not totally sure. I hate feeling like I’m the kind of guy that just wants a girlfriend for some company and sex, but it seems like that is exactly what happens!

In the past, I’ve had a few live-in girlfriends. I ended up hating doing that, and will not do that again! It felt like a combination of marriage and jail sentence, all in one. My freedom can’t be taken away from me, and really is not, except for the perception in my mind, which is probably why I am happiest when single but dating. Hell, isn’t it better to make many girls unhappy instead of just one? And variety IS the spice of life !

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Is self sabotage in a relationship a conscious or unconscious decision? I truly wonder, as many friends I have spoken to, both male and female, and including myself seem to feel that. Could it simply be that there is something about the person or nature of the relationship that we don’t like, and so we do everything possible to destroy it? Or, does the desire to terminate a relationship, reside totally in ones subconscious, and it is the outward reactions or manifestations that reach the conscious level?

Have you ever broken up with someone out of the blue for apparently no reason you can think of on a conscious level? I know that I have. But, it is not until later, upon going over the circumstances, that I realize it was my inner gut feelings (subconsciously) telling me something was wrong.

Then there are those people who, for reasons known only to them, or may be not, will purposely ruin a healthy, viable relationship. May be they get scared, or cold feet. Maybe they feel inadequate, or not worthy of the relationship they are in, or not worthy of a relationship period!

Now, to fully put my foot in my mouth, I will boldly make the statement that relationship self sabotage is predominantly a female occurrence! I made this statement only after asking the women in my office, their opinions.

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