Posts Tagged ‘girlfriend’

Well, this is going to be a depressing New Years Eve spent with me, myself, and I. Hey, does that count as 3? My girlfriend got called to do a photo op in Hawaii, and I couldn’t get away to be with her due to prior commitments. I thought that the older one gets, the less importance New Years Eve would have. But, this is not the case for me. May be because we kind of made plans, and I did know that she might get called and have to leave at a moments notice, but still… I wanna go to Hawaii too! As I type out this blog, I am also trying to book a plane flight to be there while she is there and surprise her.

So, now is my opportunity for thinking about resolutions to be made for the upcoming New Year. I’ve attained affluence (No smarties, that’s flatulence), been around the world, and have all my boy toys. I want health and serenity. Then again, who doesn’t? Guess I’ll settle for Hawaii.

It’s been a year of writing this blog, and so to all of those who have read and commented on it… I wish you all a Happy, Healthy, and Prosperous New Year!


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Does anyone else have trouble remembering important dates? Not necessarily the dates of holidays, but those that take place within relationships. Personally, I have trouble with both! It’s not that I try NOT to remember, I simply don’t always remember! And I always pay for it in the end.

Take the time I forgot my girlfriends birthday! All hell broke loose on that momentous day! And I guess, rightfully so! I just forgot. I’ve also been known to forget which day is Valentine’s Day! And you can imagine the massacre that resulted from that! Lol

I’ve tried calendars, my computer, and various electronic planners, but somehow, I still forget. Now I’m beginning to see a pattern emerging. But then again, I have been known to come to work on Thanksgiving, and forget my own birthday! Awful as that sounds, it happens to be true.

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The new girl that I am seeing turns out to be what is termed buy-sexual! Until recently, I had never heard such a term coined. But she is definitely one!
It started early in our relationship. We had a few dates but had not had sex yet. We decided to go to the mall to do some shopping. Actually, I was just being polite as I hate mall shopping, but we were in the early stages of a romance, so I went along for the ride!

Up until that day, she was not the most touchy, romantic type of woman I had previously enjoyed in girlfriends. But all that changed in a heartbeat. She was looking at some earrings at one of the stores. She was looking at hundreds of them, actually about 10, but there were 2 in particular, that she seemed to favor.

Growing a bit impatient, I said to her, get them both! She retorted that they were twenty dollars each pair. She decided not to buy even one pair, though I knew she really liked them a lot. I saw the disappointment on her face. So, when she tried on a dress, I went back to the store with the earrings, and bought it for her.

When I showed them to her, she became the most loving, wild, ecstatic girl I had ever known. That night, we had our first sex session. It hit me that it was the gift that really turned her on!
Since then, we had sex every time I bought her a gift!
Well, a guy pays for it anyways, I suppose.

She did however, have multiple storegasms !!!

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From the eX Files


During the silly season (Christmas, New Years, Valentines Day), more people are out and about, either looking or shopping, whatever. So the likelihood of running into your ex increases tremendously. Such happened this weekend. My girlfriend (present) and another couple were doing a little Christmas shopping. We were at the Mall getting pushed and shoved by the crowds, and decided to go see a movie there to kill some time and avoid the masses. We sit down and start to watch the movie. Being dark in the theater we obviously can’t see who else is there, nor were we looking to see. Not more than 15 minutes into the picture, my friends girlfriend gets rigid, then livid. Her boyfriend quietly whispers to her, “what’s wrong”? She tells him to be quiet. It turns out her ex boyfriend is sitting in the row in front of us with his new girlfriend.

Although she was trying to remain cool, calm, and collected (we were cracking up!), she was uncomfortable. She asked if we could go to another movie in the theater. We didn’t care as we were just killing time. So, we all got up and left to see a different show. We found 4 seats in a row in the dark, and seated ourselves. Not more than 15 minutes again had elapsed when my girlfriend had that same look on her face. To her I asked, what’s the matter. She told me my ex girlfriend was sitting in the row behind us. I said, soooo? It made her uncomfortable, she said. Being a bit of an exhibitionist, we started kissing (loudly) and put on a show, hoping that my ex would see. Apparently she did, for soon she got up and left!

You just can’t make up this sht!!! Reality rocks!

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I just got a call from my girlfriend. She had been waiting outside on a line, along with what she described as a block long procession of people, at a popular store. She has been there since 6:30 in the morning! Why, you ask? Because today is Black Friday, the day normally sane people leave early in the morning, and wait on long lines, to hopefully get presents for their loved ones, a month before giving them the gifts.

Alright, the savings can be great, and saving money in this economy is terrific. But she also said she was very cold waiting outside, and one wouldn’t dare leave the line for anything less than an emergency. But once the doors opened, chaos reigned supreme. She told me that no more than five minutes had passed since she started her present hunting, then a woman on an out of control shopping cart ran into her!

I kinda laughed at the visual taking place in my mind, but she was not in the mood for my sarcasm! Or anybody else’s for that matter! She told me the people shopping were like animals, pushing and shoving each other to find their special gifts, without regard for anyone! She also told me she was black and blue from that experience hence the name of this article!! But, like any dedicated shopper, she got what she set out to get…and unfortunately, a bit more than she had bargained for.!

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Silence is Golden


While in a relationship, aren’t there times when you just wish to hear NOTHING! Just some peace and quiet is all you desire. Desire it may be, but ever try to get that in a relationship? Pretty near impossible! With me, the chances of that happening are less than slim to none. My girlfriend is a yacker, a motor mouth. Her vocal cords get utilized the moment she wakes up until she goes to sleep! It’s not like I don’t want her to speak, duh!, but there are times that I am talked out, and just want my world to be on mute for a while! But she doesn’t understand that…except when it is she that wants it quiet and serene!
So my solution to this is quite simple:

Silence is golden
Duct tape is silver

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I have to get stronger with my girlfriend, to be able to resist the pouting lips and the puppy dog smile that comes after I give in to something I didn’t to do in the first place! Hmmph! This tactic used on me has to stop! I’m a sucker for it, and I get mad at myself for always giving in. It’s not that I wish to be, but those lips, those pursed, protruding lips, and the little gesture accompanying them, gets me every time. She follows the pout with the puppy dog smile. The impish, look of a little puppy. Almost angelic in its own right! It is with this combination of tactics, that she knows that I’ll succumb to whatever she wishes, with a smile on my face, and my teeth gritted! I need to build up armor, get thick skinned to her methodology, nip it in the bud…..but she’s sooo cute when she pouts!

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