Posts Tagged ‘single’

Is Being Single So Bad?


I guess that depends on the individual. Many women think so. Part of that biological clock syndrome, I suppose. I believe it is less of a priority for men than for women. I know it is for me!

When I’m in a relationship, regardless of how it is progressing, I feel a underlying need for my freedom. The truth be told, the longer I am in a relationship, even when it is with a girl I really like, I feel a need to be single again. At first I suspected it was just wanderlust, but now I’m not totally sure. I hate feeling like I’m the kind of guy that just wants a girlfriend for some company and sex, but it seems like that is exactly what happens!

In the past, I’ve had a few live-in girlfriends. I ended up hating doing that, and will not do that again! It felt like a combination of marriage and jail sentence, all in one. My freedom can’t be taken away from me, and really is not, except for the perception in my mind, which is probably why I am happiest when single but dating. Hell, isn’t it better to make many girls unhappy instead of just one? And variety IS the spice of life !


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Do Clothes Make the Man

As quickly as it became known to my friends that I was approaching being single…again, the first thing said from girl friends, was awww, so sorry to hear that, followed by get some new threads and git back in the saddle. Why do I need more clothes? It doesn’t state who I am, nor does it make me a better man! Hell, I already have spent over $3000 in clothes which were purchased in 2008 alone, most of which I purchased through the pestering of my now ex girl, and of which 80% I still have not worn yet! I’m not a woman, I have no need for the latest fashions, or what’s trendy, at the moment, nor do I relate to retail therapy. I really couldn’t care less. Give me a couple of suits for work, a few pair of slacks, some shirts, and my sneakers, and I’m a happy camper. I certainly do not need more to make me feel better. I feel fine!

I’m not going to be judged by a female or anybody for my dress attire! I don’t believe that clothes make the man, but the other way around, a man makes the clothes! Take me as I am, or I won’t last long. Although I am chivalrous, I refuse to be some damsel’s knight in shining Armani !

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To all of you readers out there in the blogosphere, the ones who have joined online dating sites, now or in the past, a question posed to you. How many of you, male or female, have told the truth on their profiles, or just slightly embellished on it, or outright embellished your profile to the point that it isn’t even you? That many !! I’m not really that surprised. Let’s face it, this is cyberspace, where you can be “all that you can be” or be “all that you want to portray yourself to be”. The guys always seem to write in their profiles of how physical they are (yet they send photos with their bellies hanging out), jobs they don’t possess, or salaries they only wish for! OK, the male logic is that the women will think, hey, I have a good job, am financially secure, so I’m perceived as stable, and single.

The women are no better than the men in regards to their profiles. Their pictures are usually 5 years old or older with the always obligatory bathroom mirror shot, to hide the fact that they have aged (well, in my case, the upper 40 and lower 50 year olds) have met with the pull of gravity! To the female psyche, her older photos make her believe she will be more desirable to the viewing public. She’s right also! Except that once we get past the online hype, and have to meet on a physical playing ground, all the embellished BS will quickly fade to obscurity. Tell the truth on your online profiles, and meet the one who whom you can be honest with from the beginning. Those are the relationships that endure!

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Having The Gift Of The Gab

So how many times have you seen that perfect 10 and got tongue-tied? Where you freeze up or there is a short circuit from your brain to your vocal chords. It’s happened to all of us at one time or another, I suppose. Blessed are those who know how to mingle with strangers. I wasn’t so blessed. It took a lot of effort. It wasn’t until I entered the corporate world with much responsibility that I overcame it. It was a Baptism by Fire. Eventually, I realized all people are strangers, at first. Some stranger than others! Hahaha 

You can’t read how to be a social butterfly without experiencing it yourself. There is no Social Butterfly for Dummies manual. But there are methods for social interaction that work. First of all, don’t get yourself labeled as a wallflower. You know what I mean. Labels are easy to come by, but really difficult to remove. Be optimistic but be yourself. You can try surrounding yourself with friends or with people you would like to be like. It makes conversation that much easier.

 I learned over time how to be the icebreaker, that initial maker of conversation. I also learned to “target: those shy ones. It usually turned out they were the most talkative once you got them to open up. And remember, compliments go far, ego’s don’t! But use the right compliment. Saying “You look pretty” will go further than “Hey baby, you’re hot!” Finally, if you want respect, you have to give respect It’s simple verbal communication with a good sense of humor that can open doors.


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I travel constantly for business, so one time I decided to mix business with pleasure. I had to go to England to meet with representatives of a corporation my firm might buy out. Normally, this is fairly cut and dry. I meet the reps, go out for a meal, discuss the options, see a bit of nightlife and end up in my hotel room till it’s time to leave. But not this time. I went online to see what was “available” in the area of England I was going to be in. That’s where I saw Elizabeth. A born and bred marmite eating British lass. Her pic was fantastic and her profile even better! But would she like me? I sent her the customary WINK and Hotlist, and hoped for her reply.

I was happily surprised to get a reply two days later from her, and that she really liked my profile. Phew, what a relief! Now started the electronic banter between us, the digital getting to know you phase of dating. We hit it off quite well although she used some terms that quite frankly, I had to google. The English have such a nice use of words. I told her when and where I was going to be there, and if she would like to meet me and show me the town. Our free time meshed and we decided to set a time and day. To make a long story short, it all went well, and there is nothing like exploring a country with someone who lives there. We became good friends. Gone are the days of traditional pen pals using, dare I say it, pen and paper, and waiting for international snail mail to deliver it. 24/7 online communication. Gotta love it !!



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Not that the cost of dating is of concern to me, I can see it as a heavy burden for many men. I mean, let’s face it, that first date won’t go very far if you take her to McDonald’s. Not that you have to take her to a 5 Star, but most women want to be treated royally, and most men want to impress. So there’s the conundrum! Women like to be wined and dined! For those of you men who are still doing speed dating, this can be of major concern! Glad I got past that stage of my life. I was lucky to have been born into “existing money”, but that didn’t stop my parents from making me learn and appreciate it. I truly believe that men and women should date within their economic means.
Does money make it better? I won’t necessarily say better, but it allows for diversification. It’s simple math, a burger, a beer and a movie will cost less than a Porterhouse, a glass of Cabernet, and a Broadway play! Either way, a few times a month, and you’re working just to be able to date ! As I get older, I find that I would rather explore one girl that I’m interested in, and pursue her than look for my next conquest. I guess knowing what you are looking for and the potential places to find that one girl, aids in making that connection.



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